Australia’s Governor-General Horse Race — Part 1, 2024

A recap of who might be the next Governor-General of Australia

Every five years, the Australian Prime Minister does a little magic trick and spin and he — Julia Gillard never got to recommend one — reveals who will be the next Governor-General of the Commonwealth of Australia.

The current governor-general, His Excellency General the Honourable David Hurley AC DSC (Retd) — or Dave to his mates, was appointed by the Queen of Australia on 1 July 2019. Given governors-general tend to serve five-year terms and it doesn’t look like Dave is getting an extension, come July, Australia will have a new governor-general.

And as with most high offices, there is an entourage of leeches, paparazzi, and bored weirdos who provide speculation on who will be the next Governor-General of Australia.

Former Governor-General General the Honourable Sir Peter Cosgrove AK CVO MC> <figcaption class=Image of former Governor-General of Australia, General the Honourable Sir Peter Cosgrove AK CVO MC (Retd). Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade, CC BY 2.0 https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Governor-General_of_Australia_visit_to_the_Department_of_Foreign_Affairs_and_Trade,_7th_May,_2014_(14001853719).jpg

I took the time to read some articles from The Australian, Sky News Australia (bless my heart, soul, and what’s left of my sanity), and the Sydney Morning Herald. Only on those rags do people have the time/space to mindlessly speculate on who will follow Dave.

Let’s review their three picks from The Australian before going on a brief, unstructured rant.

The Media’s picks for Governor-General

Let’s go over some popular picks:

The Honourable Kim Beazley AC (Miller, 2023)

Kim Beazley… what else can I say? The Leader of the Opposition who went up against John Howard… and lost. The former Deputy Prime Minister under Paul Keating, infamous for resting one foot on the chair at The Table in the House of Representatives chamber when orating — Beazley is an experienced politician who was once the Ambassador to the USA (a position reserved for former politicians).

Kim has some good experience for governing-general under his belt: he was Governor of Western Australia from 2018 to 2022. State governors are an almost perfect approximation for the Governor-General of Australia. He has shown that he knows how to ditch being a politician to be the symbol of unity that a governor ought to be.

Even better, we haven’t had a Western Australian pick for governor-general since Michael Jeffrey from the 2000s.

Kim does have some things going against him: he’s a former Labor leader and former Labor heavyweight. If Kim becomes governor-general, you can imagine the political storm for Anthony Albanese as we get another “jobs for mates” saga.

Governor-General Material Rating: 4/5

The Honourable Julia Gillard AC (Miller, 2023)

I mentioned that a certain prime minister never got to pick her own governor-general. Well, Julia Gillard is still well-respected even after her premiership. Gillard is the first female Australian prime minister, which is a fair accomplishment. If Gillard is appointed governor-general, she would be the second female governor-general.

Before we have Sky News yell at me, we had about 27 governors-general — 26 of which were men. Is it really too much to have another female governor-general?

Now, Gillard is a respectable pick but Australia hasn’t had a former prime minister become governor-general since… ever. While I know Albo wants symbolism in his governor-general pick, I don’t think he wants to be the prime minister who appointed a former prime minister to the post of governor-general.

For that reason, I can’t actually see Gillard becoming governor-general… at least not under Albo.

Governor-General Material Rating: 1/5

Noel Pearson (Miller, 2023)

There’s one eulogy that sticks with me, and that’s Noel Pearson’s eulogy for Gough Whitlam. I really like how Pearson speaks. He has a certain poetry to his words. I’ll throw some lines he said during the Voice referendum:

He has spoken for a long time and will continue to speak whether he becomes governor-general or not. Pearson returned to prominence in 2023 with the Voice referendum, which he was on the losing side. Pearson is well-respected and is highly regarded for his work during negotiations over the Native Title Act 1993 after the landmark decision Mabo v Queensland (№2) [1992] HCA 23.

Pearson also isn’t a radical leftist, like the Murdoch media and Senator Jacinta Price think most Aboriginal activists are. Instead, Pearson has always been a pragmatic man who wants to see genuine change for Aboriginal Australians. Also as a benefit for Peter Dutton, Pearson has gotten in trouble with The Guardian Australia, who we all know is evil lefty bullshit or something.

Nevertheless, Pearson has one key symbolic thing going for him: he is an Indigenous Australian. Since 1901, no governor-general has been an Aboriginal Australian — and for a good century, it was probably unthinkable to have one.

If Albo is going to pick an Indigenous Australian who can orate like no-one else, he would have to pick Noel Pearson — who currently has no post-nominals.

Governor-General Material Rating: 5/5

A Brief Rant About Generals Becoming Governor-General

Apparently since God created the Earth some 2000 years ago, former military officers are apparently the go-to people to become Governor-General of Australia. Maybe that worked during the colonial days and when EMPIRE was the word of the year, but we live in the space year of 2024 (post-COVID) and I reckon we can give former Chiefs of the Defence Force a break. Of the four most recent governors-general, three have been ex-military — and ex-Army at that as if the Royal Australian Air Force and Royal Australian Navy does not exist.

I have no idea why prime ministers (mostly Coalition prime ministers) — and their cronies — think old men who once wore khaki are a perfect fit for governor-general, but we have grown past that. Also, we need to remind ourselves that a governor-general is a governor, not a general. Appointing generals to be governor-general befuddles that.

The Army is over-represented with Australian governors-general. If General Angus Campbell becomes governor-general, I will eat a shoe and curse the Australian Army.

Conclusion

I’d choose Noel Pearson. More picks later… unless I forget.

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